Iron Sharpens Iron

      Today was an awesome day all around. This morning even though I woke up late I was able to make it to the conference on time, even if I did have to haul driving there. This conference was just what I needed in my life right now. With the doctor's appointments, and getting testing scheduled it helped me find grounding in where it is in my faith. I was surrounded by other men searching for things similar to what I am. I enjoyed being there with my bible study group and taking part in the seminars, and then to come home and get the boys. This day has just been great.

      The first seminar I went to was on Fight Club. The man who created Fight Club, Jim Brown, was speaking. It was awesome hearing this man speak. He had a presence that could just grab you. One of the things that stood out from his seminar was this, “Grab the man, you grab the family. If you grab the family you grab the community. If you grab the community your grab the world.” Jim Brown spoke at length at how Fight Club transforms the lives of men. “Men are in a spiritual atrophy right now. We have lost what it means to be a “man” in society today. Fight Club helps reignite that flame within our chest,” this is something that Jim said during his seminar. Hearing this man speak, he just grabbed my attention the entire seminar. During the question and answer session after the seminar, some questions just popped in my head. “Why do I fight? Who am I fighting for?” I started a chapter of Fight Club recently. I remember when I tried to do it in the Fall, and I didn't take it seriously. I just removed myself from that Chapter because of my attitude towards it. Finding about this new Chapter, I was on the fence about it. I didn't know if I really wanted to participate or not. God thought otherwise, and made my decision for me. One of the men from my bible study called me and asked me to do Fight Club with him. Things are different this time around. The questions I asked, I answered after the seminar. I fight for my family. Caleb and Zeke, Morgen and Kelly, Mom and Jim, and her to an extent. I fight for them because it is what I need to do. I fight for them because they need me to fight for them, to become the best version of myself that I can be. Fight Club is going to work on 4 aspects of my life: Spiritual, Intellectual, Physical, and Relational. Each week I am given assignments in all these areas to carry out and complete else I get a strike. 3 strikes and I am out of the program. Going through it this time however, I have more drive than I did in the Fall. I want to complete Fight Club. I want to be at that graduation ceremony and have my family there with me standing proud of who I am trying to become. I want to complete it for them, but more importantly I want to complete it for myself. I want to complete it because I truly want to transform my life, to become the man I was meant to become.

      The second seminar I heard was former NFL quarterback Jeff Kemp. His seminar was on building the Ultimate team. A seminar on marriage. He stated in the beginning of his seminar that not only is this for married, but it was for single and divorced men as well. “When it comes to our relationship with our wives, are we being consumers or investors?” That caught my attention almost immediately. I found myself listening very intently to what this man was saying. He was using concepts from economics to describe how to strengthen our relationship with our loved one. The “consumer” mentality is where we take, and take, and take. “Being a consumer in a relationship is coming home expecting dinner to be waiting, to just sit around watching ESPN for a little bit before getting that intimacy we think we deserve. The problem, that entire time we were with our wife, we were being consumers and not investors. Did you thank her for the meal? Did you help clean up after the meal or take care of the kids? Women have this tank full of their love towards us as their husbands, and if we consume more than we invest that tank runs on empty. “ As he continued the train of thought I found myself examining who I was when it came to being and investor or consumer. For so long I thought I was investing in my relationships, but in actuality there were a lot of times where I was consuming more than I was investing. That is when the tank runs on empty, and the problems ensue within a relationship. “If you are feeling shame that's what the enemy wants. If you have guilt, that is the holy spirit telling you 'hey stupid, you need to change!!'”. Jeff was also the first man outside of Banquet to mention agape love towards someone. Showing unconditional love towards our spouse/loved one regardless of how they treat us, act towards us, speak about us. Give them love through the good and the bad. '”When you show that kind of love towards your spouse, that fills the tank. When you ask 'what can I do to help? That fills the tank a little bit more. When you do something with out having to be told what it is that needs to be done. That fills the tank. Invest in your relationship, and you we see the change. It may take weeks, months, or even years, but be an investor not a consumer.” Just hearing this man speak was awesome. It has given me a new approach towards how I will handle things going forward with her, and with whomever God decides to put in my life to be my spouse.

      This conference was well worth my time, because I gained so much more than I thought I would. “As men we are to be leaders. What do leaders do? They sacrifice. What are you willing to sacrifice??” is something Jim Brown said during his seminar. I sacrificed time with Caleb and Zeke for a Saturday, but what I gained in return will out weigh that more than I can ever explain. Learning to become the father I want to be, the father that I never had, the father that Caleb and Zeke deserve.  Learning to become the man God wants me to be that will eventually become a husband someday.  This seminar is just another fanning of the flames. God is putting these things in my life to help teach me what it means to let go of the past, what it means to forgive, what it means to love unconditionally, what it means to be a father. It is all about taking my time, and focusing it on investing it in others, in His word. To live my life sacrificially, and not selfishly. To be humble in all that I do, to essentially live a life of Christian Action and the rewards will be greater than I can ever dream.

     This bible verse I am going to use was something I had been searching for a while now. I have been looking in His word to describe why it is that I feel the way I do towards Caleb. He is not of my blood, but I love him as much as I love his brother Zeke. It wasn't until a member of my bible study group came back from an Iron Sharpens Iron in Wisconsin that I learned of this verse. The man from my group heard it from Alex Kendrick, one of the brothers who directed and wrote the movie “War Room”. The back ground to this verse, Kendrick's wife wanted to adopt a child and he didn't. He said they should have another baby since they (he and his wife) were both healthy adults. She didn't want to go through pregnancy again (they already have 4 kids). Kendrick prayed over the idea for a year, and in his bible he found this verse. He wrote down the day he read it, 2/14/11. Valentine's Day. The girl he and his wife would adopt, was born on 2/14/11. This is the verse that convinced Kendrick to adopt, and I think it fits perfectly for my feelings towards Caleb.

“I am the good shepherd; I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd.”

John 10: 14 – 16 ESV

Good night everyone and enjoy your weekend.