Having just come back from church a little bit ago, I can write this while my thoughts are still fresh from the message I heard. The sermon series right now that is being preached is "Christianity", and what it means to be a christian.
The lessons that are being taught from this sermon series are coming from the book of Acts. The point being made through out this book is the transformation of people coming to Christ from their pagan beliefs. How Jesus first had his disciples, then they became over 100 followers, and then eventually reaching to the point of of 3000 followers of Christ just after Peter gave a sermon to the masses. All it took was an invitation just to listen. The head pastor this morning relayed it in his sermon how one person from the congregation spoke to a another person, and that person in turn told his family. The congregation soon began to swell, and then by reaching out to specific man, the congregation went from just under 30 to over 150 in numbers. Just by invitation alone.
During the sermon I was reminded of how mom kept inviting me IDGB, and how I would always reject her saying, "I don't need this.." or "I don't want this..." or "yeah maybe next time..." when in reality it is exactly what I needed in my life. Mom was inviting me to learn how to accept Christ in my life and start living my life in a different way, His way and not mine. Finally Gary Germann asked both myself and Emily to go. I got the hint, and accepted the invitation. The weekend would be the most transforming in my life to date. However the fire that was lit inside me from that weekend, slowly faded being shrouded by darkness. I even spoke at Banquet, somewhat rekindling the fire, but it still became a dim light because of my isolation. Then, after my relationship ended, I accepted His invitation once again. I knew I could no longer live my life my way. Time to learn how to do it His.
When this sermon series started, a few days before I had asked Emily to attend church with me. I was of course turned away, no reason given just a simple "No but thanks". As I walked into the building that Sunday I had a wounded heart, here I was asking the person who wants nothing to do with me to attend church with me. Well, as I moved towards my seat I picked up the bulletin, and right there in front of me was an Invitation. I chuckled a little bit, but I just looked at it. This was God trying to tell me something. That invitation is meant for somebody, I don't know who yet but in His time I will know.
Through all of this I am learning to put on my armor once again. Things are rough, and there are nights that I can't sleep because of my anxiety, but I know that this too shall pass. Everything I do now is preparing me to become a better man, a disciple, and eventually a husband. In His time God will provide, until then my focus is on the boys, bible studies, reading and understanding His word, the volunteering opportunities I had signed up for the next couple weeks, and of course getting a jump start on my career. One step at a time.. Patience. Trust. Endurance. Strength.
Psalm 42:11 (NIV)
11 Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
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