This week I started my new job. I am ever thankful that the Lord has put this opportunity in my life. This new job is giving me the ability to provide for my family finally. I have prayed constantly over this for the last several months and it is finally coming true. The Lord is doing some amazing things in my life right now. Working is helping get rid of the anxiety I had. I am more focused on performing at my job than I am worrying about other things. In a sense I am trying to prove to my coworkers that I am a valuable employee. They are seeing it too when it comes to my inspection abilities. For example yesterday morning we worked a crane runway, and with me helping the inspection we were able to bust it out faster than what we had estimated. It also helped that the runway did not have that many findings on it which makes it frustrating for us as contractors because we were hired to find the problems, Still, it was good to be up in the lift again inspecting. Its as if I had never left Orbital, just picking up where I had left off. All thanks to Him.
The boys stayed the night last night, and it was simply amazing. I love having them here. Even now as I write this, Caleb is doing his homework and Zekey is playing with Legos. These boys mean everything to me. They truly turn my house into a home when they are here. It makes the week some what bearable knowing they are going to be here on the weekend and that I am going to be able to spend time with them. My favorite thing to do with them is pray with them before they go to sleep. A couple weeks ago Caleb had asked me, "What is a divorce?" I was stunned. I didn't know what to say. The only thing that came out was, "it is when two people who love each other can't come together under God to solve their problems and become a better couple.." That wasn't me speaking to Caleb, that was the Holy Spirit answering that question. I was still stunned that he would ask me that.
I met with my mentor on Thursday morning since I had the day off. It was a good meeting, one of those meetings where time seems to stop and a lot of things get covered. The thing he said to me that stood out the most was this, "You and Emily never developed a mechanism in your relationship to recognize when there were problems, a stopping point to go 'wait, something is wrong and we need to talk about it'. When that happens, there is going to be a break down in communication and that leads to where you both are now." I see it. There were times that I just let things slide and never said anything when I should have spoken up. Every time she held back or I held back, there was a breakdown in communication. Those breakdowns just piled up and lead to things as they are now.
Lastly, God answered one of my prayers this week again. I got the call I had been waiting for, I am going to be a team member for the Men's banquet coming up in April. I cannot tell you how thrilled I am to be part of this opportunity to serve God. I keep asking for these things to participate in to draw closer to Him and He keeps providing for me. The presence Christ has in my life is simply amazing. More and more each day I can feel myself drawing closer to Him. He is in total control of my life. Last night as I was trying to fall asleep, something had a grip on my mind. Once again I found myself in prayer, asking for guidance in my life. "Be still and let me work.. wait and you will see..I've got this" These are the answers I got immediately. God wants me to have patience, to not take control over my life again. I know what happens when I take control, and it ends in bad. God knows my heart, I just need to let Him do the work I can't take the reigns. Trust and patience. Focus on growing closer to Christ, focus on the boys, focus on the job. He gives me the strength to fight, and the courage to endure. God is in control.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3: 5-6
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