The situation I am in is exactly the same it was 3 years ago when things ended with Emily the first time. God is giving me the same test twice because even though I did things differently this time, I didn't do them to please God. God is giving me this test again, but this time He wants me to fully trust in Him to provide the outcome. The first time I took this test, I was doing it all myself. I was trying to get answers my own way, not through Him. God said, "let's try this one more time.." So here I am back where I started 3 years ago. Relationship ends, month and a half later I start a new job.
Things are different this time around however. This time, I am constantly in prayer. Having attended the banquet meeting tonight 2 of the most spiritual ladies I have ever met (Karen Noble and Theresa Jennings) were there for me as I was having trouble dealing with things. "Fix yourself, worry about yourself and not her. You need to be healthy because you have 2 little boys that need you. What will be will be, but stay in prayer. Stabilize your job, focus on the boys, and whatever happens will happen. God will give you what you seek in His time." These ladies comforted me in my time of need and I felt that God was speaking through them directly during the service. I get the hint.
I started counselling so I could help cope with the loss in my life. I started counselling so I could become healthy for the boys. I started counselling so that I can finally take a step forward, and in a direction that pleases Him. God wants me healthy. The boys need me healthy. The old me is dead. The new me, the man of prayer, the Christian man fully trusts in God.
God answered three of my prayers this week. The first being the job. God saw that this new opportunity will allow me to provide for Emily and the boys. The second was that he is going to put me on the Spring Banquet team. This is something I have been praying over for the last few weeks that I might be able to serve Him through banquet, and help change the live(s) of those whom are attending. The third prayer God answered was how to pray. Through Bob Jennings, I have found a new prayer to lift up to God. A prayer of peace during this storm in my life. God may not give me the answer I seek, but he will turn the raging sea in to a calm wave. To be honest, I feel better than I have in the last few weeks. God has provided for me, and through Him I will be able to provide for my family. God will give me the opportunity to serve banquet, and lastly God will give me the opportunity to serve Him through my gifts of prayer and thanksgiving. Come what may, God will provide. God knows my heart, and come what may I am starting to feel peace about everything that has happened. I do believe that in time, Emily and I will be able to communicate again, but that will happen in His time not mine. Right now my focus is my new job, spending time as the weekend warrior father again, and constantly staying in prayer so that He may guide my life in a manner He chooses not I. Things are already changing. This is why I fight the darkness Satan is trying to throw at me.
Psalm 23: 6
Surely your goodness and love will follow meall the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.
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